Sachin Tendulkar seeks World Cup redemption

NEW DELHI: A billion hearts will beat for Sachin Tendulkar as he attempts to win the World Cup for India in his record-equalling sixth appearance in cricket's showpiece event.

Tendulkar will not be short of support in what is expected to be his last World Cup -- even his team-mates want to win it for him.

The most celebrated cricketer of the modern era has amassed 32,331 international runs and hit 97 centuries, making him the most prolific run-getter in both Test and one-day cricket.

But a World Cup title has eluded the master batsman, an anomaly he hopes to correct when he equals Pakistani great Javed Miandad's record of six tournament appearances.

Tendulkar, who turns 38 in April and holds all coveted batting records except Don Bradman's astounding average of 99.94, has often expressed his disappointment at missing out on a World Cup triumph.

He was just 10 when Kapil Dev held aloft the trophy at Lord's in 1983, the only time India has won the tournament, but he remembers that moment clearly.

"No Indian can forget that and, like any player, I too have dreamt of winning the World Cup for the country," Tendulkar said. "By God's grace, we will achieve what we want to achieve."

During his five previous World Cups since 1992, India reached the semifinal at home in 1996 and finished runners-up in 2003 in South Africa.

Both times Tendulkar ended as the tournament's highest scorer, making 523 runs at average of 87.16 in 1996 and 673 runs at 61.18 in 2003.

He has scored more World Cup runs (1,796) than any batsman in history, but not even his individual brilliance could win the ultimate prize in a team sport like cricket.

Tendulkar admitted his worst moment came in the World Cup in the Caribbean in 2007 when India were knocked out in the first round after being stunned by minnows Bangladesh and Sri Lanka.

"It is always painful when the team loses, but our early exit in 2007 was particularly disappointing," he said, blaming a lop-sided batting order for the loss to Bangladesh.

Tendulkar, who has played his best one-day cricket as an opener, was asked to bat at number four by the then coach, Greg Chappell, behind Sourav Ganguly, Virender Sehwag and tyro Robin Uthappa.

Tendulkar has enjoyed a great run under current coach Gary Kirsten and captain Mahendra Singh Dhoni, smashing an age-defying 200 not out last year, the only double-century in the history of one-day internationals.

India, second behind Australia in one-day rankings, get a chance to end a 28-year drought by winning the final on Tendulkar's home turf at the Wankhede stadium in Mumbai on April 2.

No country has won the World Cup on home soil, but India team-mates like Gautam Gambhir and Harbhajan Singh say they were determined to clinch the trophy for the little champion.

"I sincerely wish this would not be Sachin's last World Cup and he would play one more," said left-hander Gambhir. "I speak for all team-mates when I say we would like to win it for him."

Star spinner Harbhajan added: "Winning the World Cup will not only fulfill the dream of millions, but it will also be Team India's biggest gift to our hero Sachin Tendulkar."

Iraq suicide bomber kills 28 Shiite pilgrims

SAMARRA, IRAG: A suicide bomber detonated an explosives-laden vest just outside the Sunni-majority city of Samarra north of Baghdad on Saturday, killing at least 28 Shiite pilgrims travelling in a bus, police and hospital sources said.

"About 28 people were killed and about 24 were wounded by a suicide bomber who targeted a bus filled with Shiite pilgrims on a highway just outside Samarra," a hospital official said.

A police source also confirmed the toll.

Samarra houses the gold-domed shrine of revered 9th century imam Hassan al-Askari which draws pilgrims from Iraq and round the world.

Saturday marked the annual commemoration of his death.

A car bomb ripped through a procession of pilgrims headed to the shrine on Thursday on the outskirts of the town of Dujail further south killing at least nine pilgrims and wounding 39, a provincia spokesman said.

Tens of thousands of people died in violence sparked by the destruction of the Askari shrine's gold dome five years ago by suspected Sunni extremists loyal to al-Qaida.

The mosque itself was built in 944, and the golden dome was added in 1905.

Stay in love to stay healthy

Stay in love to stay healthy (Thinkstock photos/Getty Images)

Is love powerful enough to lower one's blood pressure, reduce depression and speed the healing of an injury? Well, science says, yes it is!

"Our relationships help us cope with stress, so if we have someone we can turn to for emotional support or advice, that can buffer the negative effects of stress," the Washington Post quoted Julianne Holt-Lunstad, of the Brigham Young University, as saying.

Holt-Lunstad's study found that happily married people have lower blood pressure than unmarried people. But unhappily married people have higher blood pressure than both groups.

So, when it comes to blood pressure, at least, you're probably better off alone than in a troubled marriage.

Loving spouses tend to encourage preventive care, reinforce healthy behaviors such as exercise and flossing, and dissuade unhealthy ones, such as heavy drinking, according to many studies.

Romantic relationships also can provide a sense of meaning and purpose in life that can translate to better self-care and less risk taking, said Holt-Lunstad.

Arthur Aron, a social psychologist at Stony Brook University in New York, does brain scans with fMRI machines of people at various stages of the romantic journey: newly in love, in long-term relationships and recently rejected.

In his studies, Aron has consistently found that feelings of love trigger the brain's dopamine-reward system. Dopamine is a powerful neurotransmitter that affects pleasure and motivation.

Hugging and hand-holding, meanwhile, have been found to release the hormone oxytocin, which lowers the levels of stress hormones in the body, reducing blood pressure, improving mood and increasing tolerance for pain, according to research from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill.

If being in love makes you happy, it may also have another welcome health benefit: fewer colds.

Researchers at Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh found that those who tended to experience positive emotions such as happy, pleased and relaxed were more resistant to the common cold than those who felt anxious, hostile or depressed.

A happy marriage may also speed the rate that wounds heal, according to a 2005 study at Ohio State University. It found that a married couple's 30-minute positive, supportive discussion sped up their bodies' ability to recover from an injury by at least one day.

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Read more: Stay in love to stay healthy - The Times of India http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/life-style/health-fitness/health/Stay-in-love-to-stay-healthy/articleshow/7452250.cms#ixzz1DoRh56SP

Makeup bloopers

Make sure your foundation matches your skintone and your mascara isn’t too heavy

It's not difficult to look like a diva. We arm you with some expert tips.

How often have you thought that the famous face on the glossy cover has a fabulous complexion, even skintone and glowing skin? Well, the secret lies in concealing the flaws and accentuating your stronger features. And the trick lies in good make-up skills.
BT gets expert advice from Mickey Contractor, Asha Hariharan and Sylvia Chen.

Ideal foundation : Most women tend to go wrong with their foundation colour tone. It's essential to understand that this potion is not an aspiration piece, it's a realistic one. Pay attention to the tone, which is closest to your complexion.

Use a concealer: Even actresses suffer from dark circles, puffy eyes and slight blemishes on the skin. A concealer can immediately come to the rescue. Don't try to make your undereye area look fairer than your face. The idea is to attain an even skintone.

Aping your fave stars? Now, how many us don't want to look like Aishwarya Rai or Priyanka Chopra? But isn't it better to feel good about yourself instead. Pay attention to product placement in your make-up kit. And stack up only what will be used by you, in due course.

Highlighters and gloss : In a humid weather, cream-based products tend to spread. So, maybe powder-based products are a better bet here. Also, make sure you donot use too much gloss. That looks better on magazine covers. In person, minimalism pays.

Are your eyebrows done? There are times when you may feel too lazy to get your eyebrows plucked, thinking who's watching, anyway. But, a well-threaded brow also looks neat, adds to your face in a clean way. No hair above the brow also makes the eye-shadow spread evenly. If you don't the have time to run to a parlour, pluck them at home.

You are beautiful: Every woman is different and it's that individuality, which sets her apart. While Bollywood stars often set beauty trends. It's no use feeling jealous about other's looks. Accentuate your stronger features and hide your flaws. Keep your skin healthy and clean. Go for a facial, indulge in a spa treatment. Enjoy looking good, your way.

Smokey eyes and big hair : One sure-shot way to make an impactful entry at a party is by going for the smokey-eyes look. Big hair (read beehive look or a bouffant touch) is also in currently. Apart from pretty make-up, it's also essential to pay attention to your hairdo. Clean, well-kempt hair always make for a winner.

Read more: Makeup bloopers - The Times of India http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/life-style/beauty/Makeup-bloopers/articleshow/7378919.cms#ixzz1DoRTNMGz

Playing the 'other woman' in his life

Use and throw away: He might just be using you for short term pleasure

Have you thought about what it means to be the other woman in a man's life? Simi Kuriakose asks the experts to help you out

There is always that one woman you can't help but notice. It's that demi-goddess we're talking about, who paves her way into the heart of that hot married man you cannot resist.While the reason why you are so irked by her could just be jealousy, you prefer guising that jealousy under the garb of the 'Other Woman to that man' being the home-wrecker. We do not blame you for pointing your finger on her. It's all thanks to the society's stereotypical thought.

There is no harm in being attracted to a married man. Then again, if you are contemplating being the other woman in his life, maybe these pointers can help you sort yourself:

1. Examine what you need out of life . For any person (especially women), commitment and security in a relationship is extremely necessary. Are you ok with the short-term pleasure you receive? Why are you not willing to settle for something better?

2. Examine the goals of your relationship with that man . Psychologist Varkha Chulani says that you should question yourself about things like why is it that you are compromising and willing to be the second fiddle to a married man's wife. Are you so die-hard of love and attention? At times, you just might be high on confidence and self-esteem, with a million men wanting to be with you, but you still lay your hands on that married man. Is it just a way to show that you are the ultimate seductress who can woo any man regardless of his relationship status?

3. Put yourself in the wife's shoes . Think once, will it be ok for you to see your husband having an extra marital affair? You might just be able to figure how heart-wrecking such a situation can be. It is important for you to remember that everything he told you about why he is in a relationship with you, might just not be true. You might be missing out his wife's stand.

4. Weigh the consequences . Dr Chulani suggests you try the hedonic calculus method, i. e. gauging the short term and long term consequences. You do not want to realise five years later that you should not have wasted the prime of your youth on him instead of looking for other, better options. It is important to ask the man you love whether he is willing to stand up for you. See if he is man enough to protect you when you are being judged by others. Does he ever stand up for you and take the onus of being linked with you? If the answer to all these questions are no, he's treating you as that snack you would like to munch on once in a while but never have for a daily meal.

5. Be ready to be tagged as the home-breaker : Think of how people will be wary of you, keeping their husbands away from you. Dr Chulani says that the man will never share the blame with you. However, you will be held responsible for being the woman who breaks his house, despite whether you entered in the relationship while he already had a bad marriage or not. Dr Chhabria says it's important that you are secure in your head that you never intended to break his marriage.

6. Men tend to get a little over-posessive about their women, be it their wife or their girlfriend. They want the best of both worlds. Bear the difficulties that may ensue if at all you leave the relationship. Remind yourself that you knew he was married and you had to make compromises. You just might be heart-broken without him, but trust us it will be worth it.

7. Look for someone who would give you first preference. If you are the one who is ready to pull out a tissue from your purse on the death of an ant, then probably it is best for you to move on and find a companion for yourself, who will give you what you want. Like Dr. Chhabria says, if you're looking for a stable relationship, this is not the one. Being in a relationship with a married man is like walking into a furniture store and asking for clothes

Is your woman faking it in bed?

Is your woman faking it in bed?

Dr Suman Bijlani lists women's common sexual concerns and what they mean for men

Wonder why your wife/girlfriend seems "off sex" of late? Why does she complain of a headache just when you are in the mood? Fact is, as with men, sex is a big issue for women too. Only, due to conditioning or lack of awareness, most women don't articulate them.

Generally, women realise they have sexual problems only when:
» It affects their relationship
» Their partner starts complaining
» When they are depressed
» When they themselves get involved in an extra-marital affair.

Also, the nature of problems differs slightly with age.

Younger women:
Sexual problems relate more to body image issues and 'performance anxiety'. Especially if they feel sex is the only way they can hold on to their relationship.

Older women:
Sex boils down to a chore or duty after years of marriage/relationship. It then manifests in pains, aches, lack of orgasm and other physical symptoms.

The bottomline:
Don't blame your dull sex life on her PMS or mood swings. Gynaecologist Dr Suman Bijlani of Gyneguide tells you how to read between the lines.

Problem: Lack of interest
Message: Foreplay continues throughout the day
A woman wants her man to make her feel special throughout the day. This sets up her mood for the special night. In a marriage, being interested in the house or taking care of the children is important. Conflicts with kids affects her relationship with her husband.
Hence make that special effort to show you care — through messages, gifts, a special outing etc.

Problem: Poor body image
Message: I want to feel beautiful when I'm with you
A woman might shy away from intercourse due to poor body image — a result of low self-esteem. If her partner nags her about her lack of perfection, it can affect her sexual confidence. It's foolhardy to say things like 'your hips are too wide' or 'breasts are too small' and later expect her to perform in bed. For a woman, the only solution is to work on herself as a person. Men get attracted by a woman's confidence.

Problem: Faking it
Message: Orgasm isn't everything
Men tend to focus only on orgasm, but often for a woman, great foreplay is enough. Hence, ensure she is happy with the quality of sex. If she fakes an orgasm, it means she isn't satisfied and doesn't trust you enough to tell you. Such a behaviour points to chinks in the relationship, hence work on them first.

Problem: Frequency issues
Message: I am no sex machine
Some men want sex every day, but with women, many other factors need to be in place. There is no ideal time or frequency for sex,but if the frequency of desire is very disparate, seek help. If a woman is stressed or has resentments towards her man, it reflects in lack of interest in sex.

Problem: Pain during sex
Message: Be considerate in bed
A common problem, painful intercourse can result from vaginal infection or if the partner is very aggressive. Pain is of two types. Superficial pain: which occurs at the time of insertion. Or deep pain: that's usually pathological or due to endometriosis or infections. This needs to be taken seriously. Using a lubricant or increasing foreplay can help.

Problem: Body odour
Message: Please be pleasant
Both men and women can suffer from fungal infections, tinea infection and similar problems that lead to body odour. To stimulate a woman's interest in sex, it is essential that the man maintains a pleasant personality and smells good as well. Taking the point further, he should make an effort to look good for his woman. It leads to a better response in bed.

Problem: Fear of pregnancy
Message: Take care of protection
It's often the fear of pregnancy that makes women shy away from sex. For good sex, it's important for both partners to be equally aware and responsible for contraception.

No baby, Only u and Me

You, me and… no baby!

Their passion for trekking brought them together. For Kamalika and Tapash of Kolkata, love blossomed during high-adrenalin training sessions of a mountaineering club. And despite being nine years apart, they knew they were meant to be together and take on some death defying adventures.

Married for almost two years now, the couple has taken the first step to realising their dream by floating an adventure sports company that takes groups on camping and trekking excursions. With more ambitious projects in the pipeline, they can't even consider having a child. Asks Kamalika, "Our lives are uncertain, what if we didn't return from an expedition? What would happen to our baby then?" She accompanies her husband on all his trips. "We want to explore a lot of places, and there is no question of bringing up a child for the heck of it," she reasons.

Hers is not a remote instance and a whole new tribe of fiercely independent couples today is choosing to not make babies and focus instead on their creative pursuits.

When Subroto Ghosh (name changed), 40, a journalist living in Pune gave marriage a shot last year, he had one thing very clear in his mind — no babies! And fortunately for him, his wife too came from the same school of thought. He is candid, "The thought of having an 18-year-old at the age of 58 is disturbing. A child should ideally be an independent adult before you retire." He adds, "My wife and I have erratic work schedules. I don't think we would have done justice by bringing another life to the world." To give a dimension to their marriage, the couple has adopted a cocker spaniel 'Belch', that by Subroto's own admission seeks as much attention as a child.

Until some years ago, couples who couldn't have kids were looked down upon, let alone those who chose to not have one. The perception has somewhat changed as more and more couples are opting to never become parents. Says Dr Rajendra Barve, psychologist at IIT Hospital, Mumbai, "These are couples who have found a purpose in life as against those who feel companionship is only about holidaying and partying. The latter usually end up having extra-marital affairs and eventually lose interest in their partner. Baby or no baby, it's about how creatively a couple is intimate with each other."

But for Abhay, 26, a marketing personnel based out of Bhopal, having children is an investment he is not willing to make. A year into marriage, both Abhay and his wife Rhea, have decided to steer clear of parenting. "Being responsible for someone throughout their life makes me jittery. Once you have a kid, you are grounded; either you or your spouse has to sacrifice a career to raise the child. Else, it would be unfair on the kid," shares Abhay. Like Subroto, the couple has adopted a labrador pup 'Foster' that keeps the household alive. 'When Rhea and I go out, Foster gets all sad and distant. It is a terrible feeling to leave him
behind, and we wonder how painful it would be were it our own kid," says he.

Perhaps a pet is easier to deal with and yet gives a high similar to raising a child. Vikram Karve, 54, who wrote a heart-warming short story on a Double Income No Kid (DINK) couple, is married for the last three decades and has grown up children. "We have an empty nest, which our pet beautifully fills up. But this is not to say that you should keep a pet instead of a baby. Those who get married should have kids as it is the kid that brings good vibes into the relationship," he avers.

According to Delhi-based sociologist Reeta Brara, couples not going for kids is a mere trend and not true across the board. Says she, "Blame it on today's self-indulgent lifestyles, where couples are not willing to share their resources even with kids. Young working women often think their career will take a backseat if they planned babies." But Reeta feels some unwed career-driven mothers such as Sushmita Sen are doing a great job of parenting, despite the odds.

Painter-curator, Alka Raghuvanshi, 48, who has married and divorced twice with no kids, is clear. "You can't divorce a child. From diapers to dentures it is a never-ending proposition. Women who say they can balance everything from career to kids, are lying to their teeth," she quips. Alka had lost a baby in her womb just a day before its birth from her first marriage. But she has no regrets, "After the incident I lost interest in having a baby and conveyed as much to my husband. I believe God willed me to not have kids. With a child around I couldn't have travelled the way I did, and painted with the same passion."

With mounting pressures of daily life, couples not willing to make an emotional and financial investment into parenting are on the rise. But how natural or unnatural is it for a couple to not have kids? "It's not a socio-culturally natural way of living," says Dr Bhavna Barmi, senior clinical psychologist and marital therapist at Escorts Heart Institute, "as physiologically, the body has a child-bearing capacity which should be optimised."

Whatever the decision, it's the 'little' joys that make up life!